Well its been a while since I was able to site down and write anything for my blog in more then a couple words at a time though my cell then come home and cobble things together as time allowed me to do so.
My head is still now fully here when it comes to writing this I have so much that I wish to write and say that the words are fighting for space and time to write them all out (though I do manage to tweet a lot of them as they occur while at work).
Yes work, if you’ve not heard before now I’ve managed to get seasonal employment that has the possibilities of becoming full time or part time once the xmas season is over.
I’m working at walmart at the portrait studio as an associate photographer its interesting work in general, running the cash register is something that I am still trying to get use to, plus taking photo’s of people isn’t new but having to do it from a camera that is tied down to a monopod drives me nuts! When I am so use to being able to move around with a camera in my hands plus having to follow their listing of poses that we are suppose to do to make the sale well are alright in general but to me are not natural and don’t work for everyone in general, though I can understand the guidelines and why they are in place they just don’t work very well for me since I’ve got a photography back ground it just feels wrong.
Using the ID camera to take passport photos and other photo’s for IDs is interesting to do, but at times I feel like I can’t do it as I should be able to do it because of the rules and regs that I have to keep in mind when shooting I’m still not 100% on, skin colour, shine, shadows all of it just makes my mind boggy because I just don’t see all of it as I know my manager does (yes I know she has years of experience behind her, but still it doesn’t change how I feel on the matter). But I think I am getting better at it all, slowly but I think I am getting better and with luck those in charge see that as well and will keep me on.
Another thing that work has brought out in me is my past with an ex and when I was working outside of the home and the resentment he had towards me for working outside of the home and pulling the hours I pulled. I can’t help but look back on those feelings and project them onto Norman, which hurts him because he has told me time and time again that he isn’t upset with me working outside of the home or working period he just is concerned about my uncontrolled glucose levels that work is bring out in me (thats for a later post).
I’m also struggling to adjust to this new schedule of going without food for more then 4 hours at time and the stress levels that come with it or on top of it (most of which Norman things I am doing to myself and are not really part of the job itself). Oh well I’m trying to learn how to deal with it its just taking longer then I though it would to get into the swing of things, but its slowly coming together I do feel.
Well got to go, got shift later today post as time does allow for it, take care everyone!
Nyx