Well I knew it was coming sooner or later and its something that I’d been expecting almost since the day I agreed to Marry N in the first place and something that I knew as soon as I agreed to start attending the church with N that I’d eventually get asked about. That being am I willing to be baptized into the church ::shakes head:: for all I knew it would come up when it got asked my answer still sounded lame to me.
One of the missionaries said could I prey for guidance to ask when would be a good time for it to happen or something to that effect, said one word “Beltane” that went way over their heads cause neither of them had a clue what it meant or when it is which didn’t surprise me since its from a different religion then theirs among other things that they can’t wrap their heads around to start with it does seem, which is sad to hear but its their lives that they do live. The funny thing was when I said it, it washed right over their heads and they continued talking about “when you feel you will be ready, in a months time, etc” they completely didn’t hear the word that was the answer to their question, N heard it and knew yet they heard it not.
I’ve said time and time again that I can accept a lot of things in life because life itself is full of different things to learn and understand, they asked why I was even reading the BoM and my answer was “out of curiosity” which is very true I started reading it because I can’t understand how N was raised without knowing the background to which he was raised within and that includes this BoM that he was taught from and his mom to this day apparently follows (appears to at least since when we stayed at her place she and her hubby where reading from the thing every morning and sounded like it every night as well).
I still don’t understand all that I am reading, it makes very little sense to me, it seems like a retelling from the bible yet feels totally out of context or something that I just can’t put my finger on (then again I’ve not even read the bible since I was a youth), but I’m sure in time I’ll figure it out either on my own or though someone else giving some insight into it that clicks on one level or another (as in it might never make sense because it is what it is nonsense).
I’m more then willing to go though with things because of N, for my own self I’ve gone though it I’ve dun my pledges in spirit and in blood the Lady and her Lord know me and the path that I’ve chosen to walk regardless of the names it might be called, the path the heart see’s is the right path to be walking. Like my mom and gran said time and time again, there are many paths to walk all lead to the same end regardless of what it is called and that is something which I believe with all my heart and soul to be true.
The only issue that comes up is belief, I can and do believe in many different things in and out of this world that we live in. I believe that the fates weave the strings of life and that sometimes they cross those strings for what ever reason and from there they are tangled and might or might not get straighten out with time. I know that religion has caused a world of issues for many since its inception oh so many years ago and that more wars have been fought over religion then almost any other thing in the history of humans. I do believe that there did exist a person who might or might not have been a titian born to a human woman who in turn was killed for what ever reason. I believe that there is a power out in the universe that is greater then myself and that it or they go by many different names be it God, Zeus or what ever other names that have been used over the years of human existence.
Oh well like a lot of things, time does tell what it will in its own good pace when one is ready to understand it or willing to listen to what is being said.
Post more as time passes, take care everyone.