Calories and Life

Well for the past year I’ve been trying to hit the 1,800 that my dietitian laid out for me as a bear min to hit each day for weight loss.

SP has a similar range for me to hit (1760 to 2110 ), and thus far this year I’ve only managed to hit it or go over it 3 times i the past 12 days (today being no exception of not even getting close to it).

Well I’m getting annoyed with myself to a degree – since the start of the year I have tried to get my Blood Glucose levels back under control. The kicker is when they are within range my cal load for the day is under target (but I am on target for Carbs, Fat and Protein). I am hitting most days of the week my 60% Carbs, 25% Protein and 15% fat quota, its just the cal’s themselves which have always been the issue with me.

I’m not one to over eat, I’m not an emotional eater that I am aware of (when I get upset I go for a long walk, go running, or some other form of working out takes place that burns cals and cools down my temper in the process) less not being hungry when upset thus not eating till I’m calmed down.

The PCOS is really kicking me it does feel, been dealing with it for a while now. But after the hysterectomy I wasn’t having any issues with it that I new of, and since I’d not gained back the weight that I’d lost before the hysterectomy took place I pretty much put it out of my mind. I new that the various drugs I had been put on before the hysterectomy helped in my weight loss (over 100 pounds of it), so I had been hoping that with things progressing that I’d have been able to get the weight off by doing what I had been doing and just pushing though it.

But last year, for all that happened to me, getting married, having to move down to the US with my hubby for several months then moving back up to Canada without him (he’s still waiting approval to be here perm from immigration canada). I only managed to shed 4 pounds in 12 months, though am pleased that while in the US I didn’t gain anything back for all the junk I was eating, who new that junk was cheaper down there to get then good healthy food – shakes head. I am so use to shopping around my area and getting good cheap healthy food and with junk food being so costly its not something that I tend to get.

Even while I was down in the US I did try and stick to getting in the cals and doing the P90X that I had brought with me to do, didn’t end up doing it as the weather was not conducive to me using it often, not to mention lack of space. But I did what I could.

I know that I need to try and reach the amounts that I’ve been given cal wise, but I can’t have nuts, soy is an issue (natural and man made), I can’t have most citrus fruits, leafy greens can be an issue to do some of the natural minerals found within that I have next to no tolerance for. I can not have fish or seafood anymore, red meat I do eat but limited because to much of it and I react and buying organic isn’t an option on our budget, I do eat a LOT of chicken.

I have to watch my cholesterol because there is not a supplement or medication on the market that I can take to help me with it – I should be on meds but one hasn’t been found that I do not react to (allergic reaction). I am on insulin 4 injections a day, meal time (Humalog Breakfast/Lunch 8 Units and Dinner 10 units) and one before bed (Lantus 20 units). I think maybe the insulin is having an effect on my ability to get the weight off, but not 100% sure as yet.

Since eating under my target range has not worked for me in getting the weight off, that should mean that getting within target should in an ideal world help get the weight off, but I don’t know since the weight I lost before was when I was eating WAY over target – was taking in at my height of weight loss over 3,000 cals a day and having a 10 pound a month loss. I know I can NOT do that now because A its not feasible, B I’m already getting stuffed with what I am eating, C eating out as I was back then isn’t an option (use to eat out for lunch every day 5 days a week).

Sighs and growls, I am not tired of the lack of weight loss since I know my body will get it off eventually – its just a matter of time before it does. I am just tired of the lack of progress, clothing isn’t fitting better, I do not have the energy I once had (before the hysterectomy I was walking 10 miles a day without issue, now I am lucky to get more then 3 miles in a day). I use to have so much energy, but since I was put on the daily insulin its like I’m lacking enough energy or something and more so since I was put on the meal time stuff – its like help where did my energy levels GO!!!

I know I need to talk to my doc about it all and I see her next month, but still nun of them have a back ground in PCOS and I can’t get treatment for it since I’m not able to procreate so nun to who treat it will look twice at me now. And the diabetic side of things well following it has frustrated my ex diabetic dietitian because of my lack of progress in getting the weight off. She actually said I didn’t need her help anymore since it was obvious that I wasn’t going to follow the program and to come back when I was. Kicker is I have been following it, its just not working for me now as it once was – sighs 🙁 and she just doesn’t understand anything about PCOS (no matter what material I gave her to look over and review).

Oh well mini rant and rave here, trying to collect my thoughts and ideas. I know what I need to do, doing it is another matter in its own right.

Well take care everyone!
Nyx

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