In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On a Sears hairdryer — Do not use while sleeping. (Damn, and that’s the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos — You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Dial soap — “Directions: Use like regular soap.” (and that would be how???….)
On some Swanson frozen dinners — “Serving suggestion: Defrost.” (but, it’s “just” a suggestion).
On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) — “Do not turn upside down.” (well…duh, a bit late, huh!)
On Marks &Spencer Bread Pudding — “Product will be hot after heating.” (…and you thought????…)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron — “Do not iron clothes on body.” (but wouldn’t this save me more time)?
On Boot’s Children Cough Medicine — “Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.” (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid — “Warning: May cause drowsiness.” (and…I’m taking this because???….)
On most brands of Christmas lights — “For indoor or outdoor use only.” (as opposed to…what)?
On a Japanese food processor — “Not to be used for the other use (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I’m a bit curious.)
On Sainsbury’s peanuts — “Warning: contains nuts.” (talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts — “Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.” (Step 3: maybe, uh…fly Delta?)
On a child’s Superman costume — “Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.” (I don’t blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw — “Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.” ( no comment! )