Welcome to my little section of my blog dedicated to all things in my life that relate to being ChildFree, from books to sites and much more.
Now I hear some people say “ChildFree? though it was Childless!” well semantics and grammar as a side issue I say I am ChildFree because it is something that I have chosen to be, as I see it being Childless means that you wish to have a child or children but for what ever reason are unable to do so. So in that line of though I am not childless since I’ve made the choice to not have a child, never mind the fact that I am infertile (I chose not have have children before the infertility aspect of my life came about).
So no this is not something new that I’ve gotten into, its not a new chapter in my life and its not something which I will change my mind about when I am older. Why? simple I do not have the ability to have children, and adoption is not an option at least for the two legged kind, four legged is another matter.
I have been part of the ChildFree movement even before I knew it was out there, before I knew it had a name and long before I discovered anything to do with it online. I can remember back to my early years and how I just didn’t share the same interests as other girls did when it came to playing with dolls or being a mommy to their doll or what have you. It just never clicked with me, it didn’t make sense and I just couldn’t imagine it ever being something that I would wont never mind ever be.
Then comes Jr high school and the requirement to take home what ever it was called and the “parenting” stuff that went along with it ::shakes head:: that was not a great class for someone who didn’t see things as the other girls saw it, never mind didn’t agree with what was being taught.
Getting told by a teacher that I better start paying attention to what was being taught so that I’d be ready to be a “mommy” when I grew up was not something I needed to hear at that age, or any age for that matter. Yet several years later I’d have a similar experience only this time it was in high school when I had to take yet another child based class (social sciences or something or other it was called) that I had to take just so I could graduate.
Having the teacher of that course, tell me time and time again that a child doesn’t understand this, doesn’t understand that, is to young for this, is to young for that – drove me bonkers. Like HELLO children are using the freaking internet at that blasted age already!! Hell I was using the computer the moment my dad brought our first one home back in 1984 and I was all of 7 years at the time, and I now full well had I had access to one before that age that I’d have been using it!
Funny thing is years later, 15+ after that class the same teacher IMs me though FaceBook, congrats me on my recent marriage then in the next line wishes me luck with starting my family. Plus she made the comment along the lines of, see you will be a “mommy”. I know she can not have been actually following me on FaceBook or seen much of what is there in my profile since it does state that I am ChildFree, even my twitter account states that fact. Oh well some people will never understand why those of us who are ChildFree have chosen to be that way, she is just one of many who will never understand it does seem.
If you would like to read my ChildFree based blogging click the following link to read such posts. I know like other’s who are ChildFree I do not have a blog that is 100% dedicated to being ChildFree (k not all who are do, but it does seem to be a growing trend), but I have my moments when I do talk about it and what not, so here is my jumping point for those entries within my blog.
As a semi side note, I am not against children in general I enjoy working with them in education and though work, but when it comes down to it its how society as a whole is geared to wards those who can or do wish children, and leaves those of us who can’t and or choose not to do so behind or looks upon us with distrust as if something has to be wrong with us if we choose not to have a child or can’t have one so choose to make the best of life as its been dealt to us.
Hiya, I am really glad I have found this info. Nowadays bloggers publish only about gossips and web and this is really frustrating. A good web site with interesting content, that’s what I need. Thanks for keeping this web-site, I’ll be visiting it. Do you do newsletters? Cant find it.
Right after viewing your article ” Nyxks Musings | I am ChildFree – Nyxks Musings “, I eventually resolved to bookmark it on Reddit. This is definitely a terrific material to contribute to my friends
Finally! A fellow female who thinks along the same lines I do when it comes to choosing to be child free. I also enjoy working with them-I see children in counseling-and plan on being the world’s best aunt, not to mention loved babysitting growing up,but alas, the 24/7 job of being a parent-not so much. So nice to know more and more ladies are not seeing raising a family as an obligation or simply, a desire. Glad I can relate. 🙂
Heather
I’m a member of several online CF communities as well as my local CF one, have been for a number of years.
I have nothing against those who wish to have a child, but its knowing that you can have one and being able to take care of it which is what I favor over those who have one just because it is expected of them to have on, when they rather not or its something that happened and they are forced to be a parent when that was the last thing that they wonted in their life or what have you. Making it a choice to choose to having one vs it happening when it wasn’t planned or wanted is another matter totally.
I bet a lot of people say you’ll change your mind when you get older ;). I totally respect you guys’ not wanting children and it’s unusual to see a web site highlighting that. You should reach out to other child-free people – maybe there’s a community on Twitter! (Disclosure: I have a child, lol. I had a child later than most people do so I’m an “older” mommy.) Thanks for sharing!
The class I was taking for a Child Care course which was part of the social science stuff that we had to take in high school – there was only two options the child care class or automotive and I couldn’t get into that one because I didn’t have high enough math scores to get into it (had to have a min of 75% in grade 10 math to get into it, I missed the grade by something like 5% I think it was).
The teacher was one of those who believes that all girls will be a mother because she was a mom that and if you took the class you had to wont to have one of your own or why would you take the class – its like hello I have to take it I don’t have a blasted choice in the matter, the social science classes that year where very limited in the extreme (the previous year the school system had made it mandatory that there be at least 1 social science course taken – trouble with a small high school is those options are very limited).
What was your response to the teacher that said. “Pay attention to what is being taught so that you’d be ready to be a “mommy” when you grew up.” Who attends school, so they can be a mommy?