Behind the Fear of Breakup

Stop AbuseFear is one of the strong forces that drive one to failure. It lingers with many faces, and may seem to follow around like a shadow. One gets afraid of situations, and even in a positive side of loving. It may seem perfect, yet there is fear of being lonely. Why will a person be afraid of breakup?

When one surrenders to someone by giving commitment, what is at stake is the whole being. But this varies from person to person. A relationship does not end in sweet expressions, but it is just the beginning. Surrendering the utmost privacy starts by giving a piece of oneself in form of conversation, aspirations, dreams, secrets, trust, ideas, passion. In some other form, it is giving off the ego and letting someone guard or take hold of it. But this is abstract. What if someone has intimate relationship? It is almost the same as giving one’s soul.

Again, there is this haunting on being afraid to lose someone. And as time goes by, without any promise of security, this leads to a more painful thought that one gets too afraid of it.

Ask yourself: “why be afraid of breakup?

As if it is easy to pacify and give perfect answer to this question. A love that is full of fear is not comforting but a doom lay unsaid. It is a very NEGATIVE emotion. One must guard oneself from being a slave of this thinking because it will lead and attract consequential emotions like jealousy in its destructive sense. A person will cling and strangle his loved one by this behavior. This fear of breakup is an indication that one is afraid not exactly on losing the love, but what was entrusted to the other. Is it fear of losing the ego? Afraid of losing what is at stake?

What is there to lose after giving up everything? Say after many years of building a dream with someoneā€¦ because breaking up could mean 50 years of being in a roller coaster relationship. Of course, that is not a very easy thing to console with mere words. Sorry or apology can never put comfort to years of struggle in keeping the boat sailing constantly just like the way the relationship works. What if there are children?

The fruits of a relationship of course emerged not anywhere but form the outcome of the process. It will really be painful that one gets too afraid of breakup. It is breaking the children’s heart that is more painful even more because it turns into long term attachment.

Settling the matters of breakup has legalities in case of married people. If everything is hopeless, there is no other option but legal conjugal settlements of divorce and annulment. In this way, assets will be well taken care of for the future of the beneficiaries. It is justifiable and fair for both spouses, although it is the emotional impact that makes things harder. For childless couple, unless there is exchange of assets, more or less the problem is on the emotional side. Thus, it is advisable that young couples must not indulge in careless sexual relationship that can harm each other’s decisions while they are not yet prepared to commit to a full term responsible relationship. The pain of breakup is insurmountable after consequences are not avoidable. Say, pregnancy after breakup is a lifetime problem to endure.

Being afraid of breaking up goes hand in hand with insecurity. The person has no guarantee of getting the amount of love given away. If children are at stake, what will happen afterwards?

There are many people who have undergone this plight and they tell different stories. Most problems in the society as a whole are just the by-product of this breakup. So there is really something to be afraid of breaking up if the consequences are equal to the world itself.

As it is the walk of life, one can only choose the lesser evil, otherwise, prevent the breakup from happening, which is realistically impossible to many. It is the making of a choice decided by no one but by the individuals concerned. The pain will dwell within but time has ways of washing it away. The wound will heal but it will leave a scar. That is reality.



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