Well its been about 10+ days since mom went into Hospital while N and I where at a doc appointment for hir. Needless to say the news hasn’t all been good for us or her. We had been expecting that she’d be in for a couple days, then it tuned out she had Pneumonia in luckily just one of her lungs so was put into isolation while they treated it (so we where like alright 3 to 5 days not bad means she’ll be out within a week. That passes she is cleared of the Pneumonia from the lung and is doing better, then other things start happening that means she’ll never be coming home again. Or rather she will be coming home for a short period of time, but will not be able to stay at home as its come time for a nursing home option to come into place for her.

I’m not sure how to think or feel about this, its still setting in. I won’t her here at home, but I know we can’t care for her like we should be able to do so (as in with me working and my dad not being in the best of health and N trying to find work doesn’t make for a good solid environment for extended home care as one would like).

She’s also developed some issues with her memory and speech meaning the once clear mind she had has been effected enough that she doesn’t always know where she is, who we are and other things important to being able to function outside in general. I’m still hopeful that she’ll get better, but having to face the fact that things are progressing faster then would be liked (yes was told the year before we got married that she was in a lousing battle – so get married sooner then later if you won’t her there for your wedding, and that is what we did – 6+ years later what we where told is apparently coming true).

I don’t know what to think or say or feel right now, just trying to put anything in writing makes me feel confused since part of me thinks this doesn’t need to get posted to the world to read yet another part of me says why not, other’s go though this, your not the only one your not alone – aka mixed feelings going on that = feeling all over the place.

Well post more as time allows, take care everyone.



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