Well, its been a while since I even though about why I walk the path that I walk (k maybe not, but some aspects of it I just don’t think about often), yesterday the LDS Missionaries came for they’re weekly talk. Not sure if N looks forwards to them coming or not, since he’s always apologizing for getting me involved with the faith that he grew up in and I keep saying that I knew to various degrees what I was getting myself into when I agreed to marry him (did I really know? Not really but I had an idea about it or as much of an idea as the comparative religion course showed me in university at least).
I knew before I even agreed to marry him that a time might come when I’d have to choose to walk part of his path that he was raised in or let him walk it alone without me at his side. I’m not one to let someone that I care about walk on their own unless I feel or know in my core that it’s the right thing to do. Thus I’ve chosen to be with N as he gets back to what ever degree he’s comfortable with getting back into things with.
To that end yes I am NOT 100% comfortable with all this God this, God that, son of this, son of that talk. Its feels funny and strange and I’m not fully comfortable talking about it with virtual strangers who seem so bent on conversion that its off putting to so many degrees. I know that they are following their tenant of their faith and the things that have been set out but their leaders when it comes to what they need to do as a missionary (they have this whole book and lessons and things that tells them what steps and things to take when they are doing their missionary work, from when to wake up in the morning to when they need to go to bed – I find it strange but then again if it works for them that’s all that really does matter) and preaching their faiths words.
I’m actually more comfortable taking with those who are older (or who are more mature then their years in general) and have life experience and even better if they have other experiences that have given them more of a world view of things. Not yet connected with many of those type of people, but I know they are out there because I’ve talked with a few while down in the Springs with N and have a person or two though twitter who are LDS who I find it easer to talk with and ask my questions of regarding their religion and stuff.
Anyhow, yesterday the missionaries came and various things where talked about including my views on the passage that they’d asked us to read, I gave my answer as stated in my last entry on the matter, plus updated since N and I had actually listened to the audio recording of it the night before (finally learned that the app that I’d downloaded could play various passages in audio format – aka read it to you). We all talked about faith and their belief in their god and apparent teachings though what they call prophets. What really got me was them saying that some golden tablets had been placed here in North America and that their founder found them after they’d been lost or something to that effect and translated them into the teachings that they have to this day.
Lets just say I felt like I was hearing part of the documentary that was shown on TV a few years ago, when one of the missionaries was talking about area’s that was covered in parts of the documentary only how he made it sound, he made it sound as if it was fact vs what the documentary said was not the case.
I know a LOT of the stuff that is the tenant of the LDS faith comes from believing XYZ just like a lot of various religions out there have their followers and say you believe in X because so and so said it is the case and if you have faith and you will pray and though prayer find your answer. I personally believe that you are free to believe what you believe and that I am free to believe what I believe because we are free thinkers and are created as such.
Near the end of their time here with us the one missionary asked if I felt that I was ready to pray to their god or their lord for guidance. I think that was almost the hardest part of them being there and talking with them because of their assumption that I don’t pray, yes I don’t pray to their believe system but I do for what is right for me. Held my tongue here because my answer was just not going to go down well on any level, not after their responses to my dad and his comments, so in this area I’m holding my words short in the matter.
Well post more as time does pass, take care everyone.