Medical and Life

Well, another day more pain and less feeling like I can manage things as they currently are going, unfortunately.

I don’t know what to think right now, I feel like I am drowning in my ability to keep our apartment clean and organized. I feel like we keep falling further and further behind in keeping it maintained and clean.

There is so much that I feel that I need to be able to do, such as putting things away, doing the laundry, dishwashing, etc. Take this Sunday past (yesterday) I tried for the entire day to do some cleaning and organizing around the apartment. I don’t even feel like a made much of a dent into the organizing of things much less the cleaning in general.

I have been told to just so spots and just work on those areas, time and time again – yet I have done that, and guess what that one spot never seems to be cleared up or cleaned up because I keep refilling it after I’ve done a little work on it because I get tired and can’t progress so I just put things back where they were and it starts over again.

At least the laundry did get done, though granted Norman had to do it for me because I couldn’t unload the washing into the Dryer or unload the Dryer so had to have him work to do it for me. But I did fold and put away what was brought into the bedroom so that is saying something at least. I have also unloaded and loaded the dishwasher so that again is something, it just doesn’t feel like it is enough of anything because of how much still needs to be done around the apartment itself in general.

When does it feel like it is enough, and when does it feel like I am not behind in doing what needs to be done? When will I feel like I am able to maintain things instead of feeling like I’m failing and falling further and further behind?

Now add in the higher level of pain that I am now in, that I can’t seem to lower and I’m feeling rather miserable and uncomfortable, to say the least. My lower back is screaming at me that something is wrong, my knees are saying that I shouldn’t have been standing so much and my neck feels like it doesn’t want to support my head – yet laying down isn’t a good option because the pain feels just as bad if not worse when I’m laying down right now that its a toss-up as to which is really the better idea to do.

Sighs, I don’t know what to think or do right now I really don’t – well post more as time does allow for it, take care, everyone!



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