Category: Humour
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How to know when you have too many cats
Every time you open the bathroom door, a little furry creature races past you and perches on the toilet seat for a drink before you get there. (If there is more than one perched, you are really in trouble) Your refrigerator door has its own groupies. When you open the doors to your house, the…
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Never underestimate the thinking power of a woman!
A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady forty miles per hour. The wife is behind the wheel. Her husband suddenly looks across at her and speaks in a clear voice. “Darling,” he says. “I know we’ve been married for twenty years, but I want a divorce.” The wife says nothing, keeps…
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Politically Correct
Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America, Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as “HILLBILLIES.” You must now refer to us as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS. And furthermore …. HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT: 1. She is not a “BABE” or a “CHICK” – She is…
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Gender Stuff
You may not know this but many non-living things have a gender . 1) Ziploc Bags are Male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them. 2) Copiers are Female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm them up again. It’s an effective reproductive device if the right…
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Crazy stuff found on consumer goods
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods. On a Sears hairdryer — Do not use while sleeping. (Damn, and that’s the only time I have to work on my hair). On a bag of Fritos — You could be…
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What Women Want in Men
Original List (age 22): 1. Handsome 2. Charming 3. Financially successful 4. A caring listener 5. Witty 6. In good shape 7. Dresses with style 8. Appreciates finer things