Well it has been a year since you went to join Granny and your dad as well as Bliss and Griff.
As you have likely seen its been not that easy for us but we are making it as best as we are able. We are still having our ups and downs and just when I think I’ve come to terms with your passing something triggers me and I can’t stop crying and thinking about you.
I miss you now as much as I did on the day of your passing, its not yet gotten easer to think about you or anything that some people say about time taking care of things. Yes it might but so far that isn’t the case, anymore then my missing Griff has gotten easer as time has passed.
As you have likely seen a LOT of things have happened within our family, dad’s still being annoying at times, norman is still trying to find employment and I’m feeling like I’m all over the place when it comes to various things (taking care of the house, taking care of dad and taking care of norman, plus work). Sleep is still NOT where it should be, I’m still lucky to get a few hours a night of sleep and almost nun of it is solid sleep (maybe one day I will, who knows).
I’ve been doing the family history that you where wishing for me to get into, its hard doing it because there is no one I can talk to about our family history, your sister don’t know much and dad doesn’t remember much of his side of the deal never mind anything from yours. So I’m doing a LOT trying to pice together things, that I am now regretting that I didn’t do sooner when you where here to answer all these questions that I have about our family history (trying to remember what you and granny told me oh so many years ago in my youth – makes me curse my lack of memory or half memories of those words that you spoke).
There are so many things, I wish now I could talk to you in person about so many things that I took for granted when you where alive and here with us. I know that we will see each other again, but it doesn’t stop me from missing you and wishing that some of the last things that I said to you where not so dismissive or the like, that hurts me so much but I can’t change the past it is what it is I can only say that I am Sorry for my past actions and words towards you in this life.
I love you mom and miss you oh so much!