Being ChildFree

There are many motivations for choosing to have children, and there are as many or more for the choice to remain childfree, some of the reasons that people choose to remain childfree are…

*Lack of desire for children (my main reason)

*Lack of a compelling reason to have children

*General dislike of children and/or their behavior

*Seeing the effects of children on family/friends (one of hubbies reasons)

*Lack of maternal/paternal instincts

*Unwillingness to conform to the obligations of socially defined gender roles

*Contentment with enjoyment of pets (this is one of ours)

*Not wanting to sacrifice privacy/personal space for children

*Not wanting to sacrifice time for children

*Not wanting to commit to increased financial responsibility or burden or unable to afford the costs.

*Belief that childbearing would reduce career advancement

*Fear of loss of employment or health insurance, for instance because of lack of parental leave

*Belief that parenthood will someday be disliked by oneself

*Belief that maintaining a certain level of emotional intimacy and physical intimacy with partner will not be possible with the presence of children

*Perceived or actual incapacity to be a responsible and patient parent

*Maintaining freedom of personal choice

*Prefer to maintain ability to change career or city of residence at short notice (spontaneous population or social mobility)

*Concern for safety of parent or child

*The risk that an existing medical condition, such as diabetes, depression or the development of ectopic pregnancy could result in a dangerous or difficult pregnancy, or difficulty in raising the child (another of my own reasons)

*Fear of maternal or infant mortality

*Concern that the child would inherit a hereditary disease (no concern, I know it would)

*Low availability of high quality and affordable childcare

*Fear and/or revulsion towards the physical condition of pregnancy, the childbirth experience, and recovery (for example the erosion of physical desirability).

*Fear of child abuse or domestic violence.

*Belief that one can make a greater contribution to humanity through one’s work than through having children

*Belief that people tend to have children for the wrong reasons

*Belief that it is wrong to bring a child into the world if the child is unwanted

*Belief that it is wrong to intentionally have a child when there are so many children available for adoption

*Concern regarding environmental impacts such as overpopulation, pollution, and resource scarcity

*Belief that if both parents choose their careers over parenting a baby, it is not good parenting and/or fair to a child, or believing that their particular career would prevent them from being a good parent

*Antinatalism, the belief that it is inherently immoral to bring people into the world e.g. in order to prevent suffering in a child’s life.

*A sense of realism about the negative, competitive, declining condition of the world and culture and not subjecting a child to those negative conditions

*Concerns that calamitous events (e.g., global warming effects, war, or famine) might be likely to occur within the lifetime of one’s children and cause their suffering and/or death

*View of childbearing and resultant parenting role as a heteronormative social construct which subjugates by restricting lifestyle options and possibilities for personal advancement.

We all make choices in life that effect our future, some make the choice to remain ChildFree, other after having a child wish that they had never dun so and then there are those who are glad that they did have children. Regardless of your reasons for having or not having children its your personal choice and no one else’s.

If My Human Wonted To Hear Pitter Patter Of Little Feet I'd Be Wearing Shoes



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2 Responses to Being ChildFree

  1. bootsy says:

    some great points. perhaps the most valued, and least believed, is #1 – lack of desire for children. it seems like a lot of childfree folks just don’t want to do it. there’s no accompanying reason, although the evidence that abounds doesn’t do anything to convince us to do otherwise.

    i’ve known since i was about 7 that i didn’t want to have kids. and why can’t that ever be enough for people?

    i don’t want tea, because, well, i just don’t feel like it. i don’t want to buy those shoes because they’re not really for me.

    breeders just need to trust that we’re adults and we’re making the best decisions for our own lives. no pity needed, no convincing otherwise welcome.

    thanks for the great post!

  2. Melissa says:

    Great list! A lot of them are the same reason my husband & I don’t want to have kids too.

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