Tag: Pet Humour
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How to stuff your parrot for the holidays
How to stuff your parrot for the holidays Author unknown Ingredients: • One turkey • Corn pudding • Green beans • Stuffing • Sweet potatoes • Mashed potatoes with gravy • Cranberry sauce • Hot rolls • Relish tray • Pumpkin pie • Whipped cream • Hot coffee
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Excerpts from a Dog’s Diary…
8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing! 9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing! 9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing! 10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing! 12:00 pm – Lunch! My favorite thing! 1:00 pm – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!…
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Excerpts from a Cat’s Daily Diary…
Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to…
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Top 10 Peeves Dogs Have With Humans
1. Blaming your farts on me….. not funny… not funny at all !!! 2. Yelling at me for barking. I’M A FRIGGIN’ DOG 3. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway? 4. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose. Stop it! 5.…
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A PET’S TEN COMMANDMENTS…
1. My life is likely to last 10-15 years. Any separation from you is likely to be painful. 2. Give me time to understand what you want of me. 3. Place your trust in me. It is crucial for my well-being. 4. Don’t be angry with me for long and don’t lock me up as…
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Cat Translations
Miaow Feed me. Meeow Pet me. Mrooww I love you. Miioo-oo-oo I am in love and must meet my betrothed outside beneath the hedge. Don’t wait up.