Nyxks Musings

Tag: Dog Humour

  • Top 10 things heard at Fido’s office Xmas party

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    10. “Wow! Check out the hot poodle with Rover.” 9. “So I says to him, throw in toilet bowl privileges, and you got yourself a deal.” 8. “Look, I gotta go chase a cab…” 7. “Hey you–cat! You work here?” 6. “Not the Macarena again! Somebody cut off the boss’ bar tab…” 5. “Did you…

  • Excerpts from a Dog’s Diary…

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    8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing! 9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing! 9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing! 10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing! 12:00 pm – Lunch! My favorite thing! 1:00 pm – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!…

  • Top 10 Peeves Dogs Have With Humans

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    1. Blaming your farts on me….. not funny… not funny at all !!! 2. Yelling at me for barking. I’M A FRIGGIN’ DOG 3. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway? 4. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose. Stop it! 5.…

  • Dog Rules

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    1. The dog is not allowed in the house. 2. OK, the dog can come into the house but only with certain rules. 3. The dog is allowed in all rooms but has to stay off the furniture. 4. The dog can get on the old furniture. 5. Fine. The dog is allowed on all…

  • DICTIONARY OF DOG WORDS…

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    BATH: This is a process by which the humans drench the floor, walls and themselves. You can help by shaking vigorously and frequently. BICYCLES: Two-wheeled exercise machines, invented for dogs to control body fat. To get maximum aerobic benefit, you must hide behind a bush and dash out, bark loudly and run alongside for a…

  • How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?

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    Border Collie: Just one. And then I’ll replace any wiring that’s not up to code. Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we’ve got our whole lives ahead of us, and you’re inside worrying about a stupid burned-out light bulb? Dachshund: You know I can’t reach that stupid lamp! Toy Poodle: I’ll…