Nyxks Musings

Category: Humour

  • Dog Rules

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    1. The dog is not allowed in the house. 2. OK, the dog can come into the house but only with certain rules. 3. The dog is allowed in all rooms but has to stay off the furniture. 4. The dog can get on the old furniture. 5. Fine. The dog is allowed on all…

  • DICTIONARY OF DOG WORDS…

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    BATH: This is a process by which the humans drench the floor, walls and themselves. You can help by shaking vigorously and frequently. BICYCLES: Two-wheeled exercise machines, invented for dogs to control body fat. To get maximum aerobic benefit, you must hide behind a bush and dash out, bark loudly and run alongside for a…

  • How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?

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    Border Collie: Just one. And then I’ll replace any wiring that’s not up to code. Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we’ve got our whole lives ahead of us, and you’re inside worrying about a stupid burned-out light bulb? Dachshund: You know I can’t reach that stupid lamp! Toy Poodle: I’ll…

  • Top 20 Signs a Pagan is Militant

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    Top 20 Signs a Pagan is Militant (The Few, the Proud, the Armed!) You use a flame-thrower to light the altar candles Your athame has a bayonet attachment to fit on your M-16 Your robe is made of camouflage material Your cakes & wine come from MRE’s Your book of shadows contains plans on defusing…

  • A Pagan Televangelist

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    Howdy folks. I’m Billy Bob DreamDancer, and I’d like to invite ya’ll to join me and my lovely wife Tammy Faye Moonbeam when we present our new spiritual TV show, the 3Fold Club. We will be premiering Thursday night, August 24th at 8:00 PST on UPN 666. Join in song with us as our chorus…

  • A Pagan goes to Heaven

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    A Pagan died and, much to her surprise, found herself at the Pearly Gates facing St. Peter. He walked up to her and said, “Hello, and welcome.” She stared at St. Peter in complete confusion. “Wait a minute,” she said. “I was supposed to end up in the Summerlands.” He smiled. “Ah, you must be…