As many might have noticed I haven’t been doing my regular posting of live streams to my YouTube channel nor have I been doing my daily live streams not even once a week like I had started to try to do, and almost never mind the weekly TikToks that I had started to try to do.
Well the truth of the matter is I just haven’t been feeling it, as my energy levels seem to have tanked and when I try to start to set up a stream to stream I feel like I don’t have it in me to actually do the stream, yet I am able to play my game for several hours yet trying to get my brain to talk or even converse with any of my friends is almost too much for me to do and still play the game at hand – which has been most frustrating, to say the least.
Its not to say that I have always been able to play for hours, there are times when I have been playing and a few minutes after I start playing I have to stop because a Dystonic episode happens and just wipes out what energy I had in reserves or after the episode, I’m just not in the mood to play still that or my pain level goes up making it hard to play comfortably so I have to stop and do something else (like read, watch tv or even actually sleep).
TikTok is its own deal, I have been trying to work on my own series that I would like to get off the ground on it, but I am having my own issues learning the software to do the transitions between charters (it all seems so easy when I see others doing it, yet when I try to do it it is anything but smooth going). So right now the series that I’ve been working on is in a holding pattern as I figure out how to get it filmed properly.
This also means that I’m struggling to just even make basic TikToks because I feel so unmotivated to post anything, big time when I see my mate’s steadily rising numbers when all they post is their VRChat stuff (so ya I am a little jealous of their success but also happy for them at the same time) it makes me feel like I shouldn’t even bother trying to gain a following because I’m not good enough to do so type feeling (which is wrong thinking, but right now hard to shake).
On the upside of things I do finally have another green screen to do streaming with, I just don’t have the setup to hang it up with at the moment so that’s a little bit of its own issue – one that I am hoping we will be able to rectify in short order (since they also would like to do green screen – the set up would be workable for both of us once built/created).
I’m also still working on trying to find a good solution to my laptop issue I finally got the backrest that has proven to be helpful – though it isn’t as helpful as I had hoped as its a little small but it does a decent job in general that I’m not complaining about it. Though I still haven’t fixed my main computer issue, I keep forgetting that I really need to talk to a certain person and see about getting my set up updated – but like a lot of things some things just don’t seem as necessary as other’s when I look at it in terms of what I am doing.
Well, hope everyone is doing well post more as time does allow for it, take care!