My response to: I left the husband I loved because he refused to have children

When Marriage and Being ChildFree Collide

When Marriage and Being ChildFree Collide

On my Childfree twitter feed there was an link to an article posted entitle I left the husband I loved because he refused to have children (and had IVF twins alone) that caught my attention enough that I actually went over to read it instead of saving the link for reading later.

Now I fully admit to not responding to most of the articles or blogs I read online, but some times there are those articles/posts that just trigger something in me to actually post a reply and if I can’t post a direct reply because its been closed or something then well my own blog post it tends to become (then again I’ve been known to post my responses to my blog anyhow). At any rate this is my response to that article on the Daily Mail UK site.

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It was not fun reading, enough though the article title caught my attention enough to get me to the site to start with, what got me a little ticked was how the woman in the article didn’t read the signs that her BF was given off long before they got married. I disagree about love making one blind or what not when it comes to major issues that you wish to have in your life.

I know for myself, I knew I didn’t wish to have children and it was one of the top 3 questions I asked any person who I was even thinking of dating – actually any site I was on I had listed that “Don’t Wont Children” and even in the bio part of the profiles I’d state it clear that Children where a Deal Breaker with me, his or her own in existence (if under 16) or having them on my part.

My comment to the girl in the article is… “You heard the signs he wasn’t interested in children before you got married, yet you made the choice to get married anyhow knowing full well that he was on the fence on the matter and might not change his stance in not being ready to be a father. You said you loved him, yet you broke your own vows that you made when you got married. You didn’t stand by him, you blamed him for something he said he wasn’t ready to be. All I got from this is a sense of entitlement of “My Needs, My Wants, ME, ME, ME”. What about his wants and needs and feelings on the matter?”

Its hard to put everything into perspective on this for me since its something I’ve seen once to often growing up and here and there around me. The article makes it sound like her hubby is the villain in the matter which to me he is not she is. He stated from the get go he wasn’t ready, which as how I read it is “he’s not ready to be a dad and might never be ready” add in his actions around children and the idea that he’ll never be ready comes right into target center.

I would really have liked to have had the hubby’s point of view on this article, but its so one sided and in short annoying. Ya I know the title should have given be a club that it would annoy me or something, but some times headlines are written to get ones attention and the filler content doesn’t live up the the heading – guess that isn’t the case here, chuckles.

What also gets my goat is her blaming her ex for her own fertility issues – ummm hello did you even get a fertility test before you got married? How the world can you blame him for your fertility issues? He has nothing to do with your low fertility or anything else for that matter – you said it yourself you have a family history of early menopause thus that would give me the mind that if I was wishing to have a child that I’d have my fertility checked to make sure that it was a possibility or if it was something I needed to worry about.

Oh well, calmed down a little and though I think the women in the article is a tad self-centered and everything – she has her own issues that she has to deal with that are of her own making thus she has no one to blame anything on other then herself for the choices she makes from the point she chose to leave someone she said she loved dearly (to me she couldn’t have loved him that much if she did this, but hay thats how I see it in my end of the deal).

Well I could go on and on and on and hit left and right field but I’ll end this here, take care everyone!

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