Well it is Day 04 in the 30 Days of Truths that I’ve chosen to get into and today I am suppose to blog about Something you have to forgive someone for.
This maybe a hard one to do because there is one person I know that I should forgive but its easer said then dun, why? Simple the person that I this brings to mine is the person who raped me oh so many years ago. I really do not know if I can forgive the action they did to me or forgive myself for the actions that I took after it happened to me, or those around me who told me it wouldn’t have happened that I was only upset over having premarital sex.
For me this part of my past as much as I’ve come to terms with it in the abstract of reality, it still hurts that it happened, it still hurts that he never saw it as such and it still hurts that because of what happened I might well have not been where I am now because of my own actions which where less then creative of a positive nature towards my own body.
I feel that I can forgive to a degree, but how much of a degree I can’t say because I can’t even think of it myself as to how much or far I can do of that nature. I know I can’t even speak his name to tell my husband who it was who raped me nor anyone in my family (the only one I ever told was my grandmother shortly before she passed on).
Oh well some truths are hard to remember and some truths are even harder to try and let go of, but one thing I do know that with time I will be able to let this part of my pass go and move on without it as a ghost as it currently is.