A Pagan Televangelist

Howdy folks. I’m Billy Bob DreamDancer, and I’d like to invite ya’ll to join me and my lovely wife Tammy Faye Moonbeam when we present our new spiritual TV show, the 3Fold Club.

We will be premiering Thursday night, August 24th at 8:00 PST on UPN 666. Join in song with us as our chorus of skyclad priestess initiates thrills you with plagiarized Christian tunes, set forth in pagan words.

Share the joy as I heal the sick, right before your very eyes, as a 57th degree Reiki practitioner, not some plebeian (*cough*real* couch*) 3rd degree so called Master. Can I have a Blessed Be brothers and sisters!!!!!

As a special introductory offer, Christians are welcome to join us and have their souls saved by our special guest Jesus (Hernandez) in a show of interfaith unity. So Mote it be!!!!

Now, I must ask your help in this brothers and sisters. The Lady told me in a dream last week, that She would call me home to the Summerlands if I don’t raise the collective consciousness, in the amount of $10 million. Help me to help you!!!

Besides, Tammy Faye Moonbeam needs your support too. She spends hundreds of dollars each and every day on Henna. It’s an addiction, so says the Shamanistic Healers at the Betty Ford Clinic. Please send cash as our Lady does not want us to detract from our spiritual path by worrying about checks and book keeping.

I’d also like to extend an invitation to you to come on down and join us at our new religious theme park, WiccanWorld. Take a ride on our Sacred Space roller coaster, the tallest in North America. Thrill yourself when you ride our Wheel of the Year over 150 feet into the air. Try to hold onto your seats as you experience the Spiral Dance bobsled ride.

If you’d like advance registration or would like to purchase tickets to our show, please send cash only to:

Billy Bob DreamDancer
1313 Oppossumtown Road, trailer lot #13(see, our lucky number!!)
Mahsistersmahwife, NC 60606

Don’t worry about filling out any forms when you send your cash. I’m a Natural Witch, and I’ll know all about you just by psychically feeling your envelope.

Amen and Blessed Be!!!

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