Griff, its been two since years since you passed and I still think of you each day, and cry when I read things that remind me of you. I still wish that I didn’t have to let you go that you could have stayed here in your physical form to meet Ozzy and enjoy life with N and I. You are greatly missed but yes I know we’ll meet again but until such time its hurts to know that you’r not here in your physical form.

I whined to you softly as you brushed away a tear, “It’s me, I haven’t left you, I’m well, I’m fine, I’m here.”

I was close to you at breakfast, I watched you pour the tea, You were thinking of the many times, your hands reached down to me.

I was with you at the shops today, Your arms were getting sore. I longed to take your parcels, I wish I could do more.

I was with you at my grave today, You tend it with such care. I want to reassure you, that I’m not lying there.

I walked with you towards the house, as you fumbled for your key. I gently put my paw on you, I smiled and said “it’s me.”

You looked so very tired, and sank into a chair. I tried so hard to let you know, that I was standing there.

It’s possible for me to be so near you everyday. To say to you with certainty, “I never went away.”

You sat there very quietly, then smiled, I think you knew, in the stillness of that evening, I was very close to you.

The day is over… I smile and watch you yawning and say “good-night, God bless, I’ll see you in the morning.”

And when the time is right for you to cross the brief divide, I’ll rush across to greet you and we’ll stand, side by side.

I have so many things to show you, there is so much for you to see. Be patient, live your journey out … then come home to be with me. – Author unknown

Nyxks Musings

Just discovered the group thanks to Scooter doing a song with them that I ended up watching. Don’t know much about the band/group (though from what I’ve learned I should have know about them before now – ::facepaws::) but one thing I do know is that from the two songs I’ve listened to thus far on youtube that they have my attention on various levels for their tunes that they preform, this is the first music video of their own that I’ve seen thus far and it actually has be laughing at it do to their antics.

Nyxks Musings

This is the music video from Scooter that clued me into Status Quo – very catchy that is for sure had me out of my seat and moving my body to the music

Nyxks Musings

Well Norman and I have been a couple for a while now yet at the same time it feels much longer then it really has been, Ns like my other half enough so that its like hir’s always been there in my life when I know hir’s not been.

At any rate today is our Wedding Anniversary. Feels like we’ve been married a lot longer, but we’ve not been it just feels like it is for various reasons that I just can’t explain any better then I did above.

The day started out well enough since we didn’t get to bed till almost 5am planning on sleeping in, getting up and then heading out for food. That didn’t happen, was well and truly into slumber land when I heard a thump and that got me up enough that I was already on the move and my dad yells for me in that tone of voice that lets me know that the thump that got me moving in my sleep was mom hitting the ground.

Turned out that ya mom had hit the ground alright she’d fallen into the middle bedroom doorway and was having issues getting back up again – she never did get back up under her own power, we actually had to call the @TorontoEMS in to get her up at which point she was actually in worse condition then she’d started out at (or so it felt). It actually took the EMTs close to a freaking 30 minutes to get to the house (apparently the station near us all their busses where out on call) and the fire department which is at the end of the street actually arrived AFTER the ambulance did (which is a first, since they tend to arrive WAY before the EMTs ever do).

So other then her medical care taking close to 30 minutes to even arrive (which had it been a heart attack or stroke would have eaten big time into that golden hour that they have to save someone) we ended up having an EMT who complained that he HATED having to clime stairs (think he was joking but it didn’t sound like it) and didn’t like these older homes (again think he was joking but sure didn’t sound like it and ya its sticked with me enough that it ticked me off).

Dad learned that the EMT unit that arrived was dispatched from the middle of the city and that we where something like their 7th call of the morning). Add insult to injoury or what ever you wish to call it but the same EMT who had made the pervious statements when told the hospital they where going to made yet another less then great comment (as in “Oh great that hospital”) then instead of getting into the bus and driving it he proceeded to wait outside of it and TALK to the roofers who where on a break, ya I know they have to settle mom into the bus and do stuff but how he was treating things was a total tick off to say the least (ya I know not as life as death as some, but still to me his actions where 100% unprofessional).

So after mom and dad where off to the ER we ended up getting up for the day – so ended up with about 2 to 3 hours of actual sleep (not good, but its how life is). We did some dishes then went back up to bed to cuddle and rest if not try to sleep (which didn’t happen, but we at least where able to cuddle until we got more info from dad). Dad called to give us an update and shortly there after we got dressed to head out for our meal at @Jack_Astors which we’d chosen as our place for the day do to the fact of good service and food that we’d enjoyed while at the convention in march that we where at.

Took us almost an hour and a half to get the Jack Astors which isn’t normal but since the time we left was close to the start of rush hour wasn’t to surprising, we got there and where seated in the restaurant section of the place – we where at first pleased with it but in short it turned into a Child Fire Zone with some youngsters running back and forth between their table and their folks (if one of us had stuck our leg out of the booth we’d have been able to trip any of the kids as they ran/rushed by), needless to say that was not a pleasant side of the evening out for a meal (we’re thinking we really should have chosen to eat in the bar side, but even then there would have been no guarantee of not having to hear or see such happenings.

Our waitress took our order saying that she didn’t think we’d been able to fill up on just appetizers but she’d be around to make more of our order after we’d finished. She so didn’t understand that what we’d ordered for us would indeed equal a full meal between the two of us. For N we got the Lobster and Crab Dip plus an order of their Jack’s Golden Calamari both of which arrived before my order, I did nibble at some of hir order because well I wonted to taste some of it before my body yelled at me for doing so (I really do NOT like having Dairy and Gluten issues its freaking annoying on oh so many levels when it comes to eating out) then my order came and first it was the 1lbs of wings with sauce on the side what a totally disappointment to say the least, and so NOT worth the price tag for that matter (get better wings for the price at Wild Wings) and the sauce well this I will say its a good thing I said for it to be on the side because if it had been put on the wings was is normal then the wings would have not been that easy to eat, the sauce tasted the the Honey Garlic from HV which is not a good thing (that stuff I use for cooking but in small amounts because you don’t need a lot, a little goes a long way).

Our final part of the order arrived my Shanghai Lettuce Wraps, its something I had been looking forwards to having for a good month or so, and it ended up being a disappointment it tasted good, but was semi cold and the breaded chicken was not soft and tender but hard and less then great to chew on and the noodles where over dun as well which all meant that I didn’t eat it all as I had been planning on doing, I ate about half of it unfortunately only thing that did get 100% eaten was the lettuce (of which they never seem to serve enough of with the meal).

The meal all in all for all it was less then great for some of it did go over well between us and we did enjoy it – we didn’t think it deserved the price tag it came out to but we knew going there that it wouldn’t be cheap to do so (but any good meal now a days isn’t cheap, then again some really terrible meals are blasted costly as well). Would we go back? Yes we would. Would we order the same things? No we wouldn’t at least not in full. Neither of us will order the wings again, to pricy for what little you get. The Lettuce Wrap well good isn’t what it could be so likely would not bother with it next time, but other wise ya N would order the Fish stuff again without complaint.

After the meal we drove over to Walmart to do a little shopping (mostly to get hir a new backpack) and in the process I popped out into the mall to @boosterjuice and got us our dessert N hadn’t been expecting it but it had been something I’d wonted from the moment I knew we where going to eat at that location. I got N hir fav a regular Brazilian Thunder where as I got my regular modified fav a Mind over Matcha (omit the dairy portions and change to soy) delish and a great way to end our night out or close enough there of since N wonted to pop in at Target to see if they had a few things, which they did so got what hir was looking for there the off to shoppers drug mart to pick up a few needed items before heading back home.

All in all save for the issue with mom the day went very well for us.

Nyxks Musings

Well what can I say another catchy tune that gets my foot a tapping and though I can’t jump style in real life I do enjoy watching my AV on Second Life doing it when ever I play thus tune or it gets played at any club N and I attend in world.

Nyxks Musings

Well saw my endro and ya he was less then pleased with me, my A1C instead of being down was up – and not a good up but a high bad up (as in its now around where it was almost 10 years ago when I was first told that I am now a diabetic) which is scary since you’d think by now that I’d be able to get my numbers lowered or close to range, but apparently the insulin resistance that is part of the PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) is making matters worse and I’m now even MORE IR then I was almost 10 years ago.

So what does this mean? Simple it means he’s increased my night time insulin from 70 units to the fully 80 units and I’m to up it to 100 units max if my morning levels do not come into line over the next few months. If my number’s can’t get lower he wonts to put me on yet another medication that is new on the market (but hasn’t been fully studied to work with insulin as yet) to see if it will help get my system more sensitive to the insulin.

Though I do admit his talk of “oh one of the side effects if it makes you less hungry” was NOT welcomed at all to which my reply was “great now I’ll have even more issues trying to get in the 1200 that I’m already unable to get in most days of the week never mind the 1600 to 1800 that the diabetic dietician wont’s me to get in daily – just great” he didn’t even bat an eye lash or say anything about it, as in it felt like he totally dismissed the comment which would be just like him on various levels to do so, which is blasted annoying on so many levels.

I really do not wish to go onto yet another drug, more so that its a drug that hasn’t had much testing in regards to being combined with someone who is on insulin, that just makes me wonder of it and the side effects it already has if you are on it with metformin (which I am also still on, along with two different types of insulin).

Oh well got to get back into the testing habit, which means finding the funds to get the supplies to do so (ya what insurance I have does pay me back, but that does no good when it comes to having to get them first then having to wait till I get a reinforcement, if I get it at all since about the only thing they cover is the test strips and only if I get them every other month and not monthly regardless of what my endro has put the script for they don’t pay it monthly just bi-monthly which means I either stretch out what I have or pay the the extra 100 strips with funds that I lack (aka use my CC, which I don’t like using and owning monies on). And yes I have looked into various assistances but I don’t qualify for any of them so am stuck as I am at the moment, with luck either N or I (or both!) will find employment very soon so some of our debt can start getting paid off and be less bothersome to us (as in neither of us like have funds owing on the CC that can’t be paid off right away).

Oh well such is life as it currently stands, take care everyone post as time does allow for it.
Nyx

Nyxks Musings

I’m not to into the lyrics for the song since some of the language used is not what I like to hear spoken much less used in a song, but that being said the beat of the song is what caught my attention the first time before I heard the version with lyrics and long before I found the music video for it. Is a good club tune I am sure and I know watching my AV on Second Life dance to it at what ever club ends up paying it is interesting.

Nyxks Musings

Doesn’t much matter if you do or don’t like the Gangnam Style that has been hitting the world some times seeing those you know or a group of people you know of doing funny things on camera can just be entertaining in its own fashion.

I do admit to liking the song itself and all that variations that are of it out there – enough so that I have tried a number of times to do it myself, without much luck.

Nyxks Musings

Well it was an interesting Con that is for sure, a few standard things happened and in general not a lot of issues which was nice = aka things ran fair smooth for the most part, which is always a nice thing at a con.

We arrived early Friday morning just past 9am, got our badges and reported in for unofficial duty which means we ended up roving around the con space taking in what was going on and getting familiar with the layout (or in my case putting what I had worked on for the con book into physical perspective). Until our official shift started at which point we settled in to things then went to do our Canine Meet and Greet (which actually ended up having more furs in attendance then we where expecting to have, since at 6pm when it was scheduled tends to be a common time for many furs to be going for dinner – which we where blessed with about 20 furs who attend it with us – for which we where most pleased). After that we started our second shift of the day and then after shift went for our first bite to eat of the day (yes that means Kantu and I went from about 7am till close to 10pm without putting food into ourselves – which wasn’t a good thing at all).

We actually chose to splurge and ended up going to Jack Asters (I’d never actually until now ever been there before, I know of about it yes but had never gone to one) – for one it was the only place open that late that actually served food that I am able to eat (got to love allergies to various foods) so we went there and I actually was surprised at how good the food actually was and the service was excellent as well – our waiter made us feel appreciated even though he forgot our 15% discount when it came time for the bill (it happens). Kantu had a Burger with Fries while I ended up with the Shanghi Lettuce Wrap mmmmm talk about delish and blllllleeep spicy! After that we headed back to the hotel and watched a little TV before falling asleep only to have to wake up like 4 or so hours later to get ready for our first shift of the day.

Saturday dawned early and bright, we got up at 6am to get ready for our first shift which was to last until noon at which point we’d have a few hours off to do as we chose before things for the fursuit group photo shoot was to take place followed by the parade. We spent a good hour in the lounge talking with various furs and in general just relaxing (and Kantu getting a bit to eat while I watched on) till we knew we had to get to our room and get into our suits.

Got into our suits and headed down to the gathering area and waiting for stuff to happen – they ended up doing the suiters in 4 groups which took some time to complete since there was over 200 suiters to position and go though. After everyone had been gone though the parade started, and that went fair well though all I do remember from it is that I was almost 100% deaf in my suit (seem’s my hearing has gotten worse then I remember it being while in suit – which is annoying since I know its an issue as it is already). But at any rate things progressed and soon we where back where we started and almost everyone was taking their heads off to breath and cool down. At which point I was making plans on what I was going to be doing with the group shots and trying to go though what I had seen in my head and pre-plan how I was going to get things working to look as natural as possible in the time frame that I had open to me to do so.

Once people started leaving we headed off to make sure things where alright and if there was anything we needed to do before our second shift started, turned out that ya there was stuff to do and that it had a deadline attached to it – that being as early in the morning as possible (once dealers den opened) that the con fur suit pic needed to be ready for delivery to be printed and sold. So we got the images from Red Wolf Photography (he was the one who took the group shots and was doing the individual suit photos as well in the dealers den, which can be downloaded until August 1st of this year) and loaded them onto the laptop (while that was going on Kantu and I went to grab food once again from Jack Asters and brought it back to the hotel so I could continue working on the image) and one loaded I started going though the images he’d given me and started picking the best ones from each set to work into a larger format print.

I ended up not pulling the second shift do to various reasons, but mostly do to the fact that I had to keep what I was doing under wraps and there was no “safe” space to work on the project at the location we where stationed at, so ended up asking Pearl to cover my shift so I could work on the project. Not long after that about an hour or less Kantu comes up and ends up staying with me having been told to come and keep me company, which was nice of them to do. Got the prelim up and running and stitched so headed down to con-ops to show the chairs what I’d come up with and to tweak it further as necessary which meant that by time it was completed it was the early morning hours.

But that wasn’t the end of the day, we got back to our room only to smell something that wasn’t right. Which in the end meant that hotel management ended up switching us to another room do to allergies and what not being an issue – all of this meant that instead of hitting the hay and being able to get up for 8am we ended up sleeping in until just before my second panel was to take place at 10am – so needless to say we didn’t get much rest at all nor what rest we did get was peaceful or for that matter restful.

Sunday Blindsight Wolf (the con’s co-chair) and I gave our Spirituality panel like we do each year (or have dun for the past two years at any rate) and unlike in years past it wasn’t as well attended as it had been – I think the 10am time slot was to blame since many furs at that point in time where in the process of packing up and checking out, so not able to attend panels that they other wise would have dun so. After the panel Kantu and I packed things up in our room and checked out, by then it was getting time for our last shift of the day before closing ceremonies would be taking place.

All in all the weekend went well, the dealer who was selling the prints of the group photo donated a portion of the sale of each print to the con (or to the charity don’t remember which it was) but at any rate he was going a good run of it enough so that he ran out of ink more then once in the process of doing so apparently, don’t think he was expecting the number of fur’s to be ordering the prints that was happening.

Closing ceremonies went well, we learned that we have in attendance over the course of the weekend over 700 furs of which over 200 where suiters, so almost a 25% increase over last years suiters, which was a great thing to see and hear. It was also announced what next years theme will be, that being the Circus (which was theme we’d been debating about for the past 6 months on and off) so with that in place for 2014 everyone has an idea of what to put together for their suit or look for the next FE convention.

I enjoyed the weekend for the most part, didn’t really get enough down time to actually enjoy enjoy it but over all it was fun to be there for the most part, would have loved to have had time to go swimming or just to relax more then a few moments here and there – but its how it is when you choose to work a con instead of being just someone who is attending (don’t think I could ever just attend a con Ive been working them for to long to really ever just attend it does feel/seem).

Well take care everyone, will be postings pics and badges over the course of the week and into the rest of the month as I get them finished.

Wolfka
aka Nyxks
aka CC

Nyxks Musings

Well never saw the music video until recently not sure I like the video of the song – but hay the song beat is still catchy and I still enjoy listening to it when its played.

Nyxks Musings