Dear Diary,
Yesterday was a semi-long day. It didn’t start how I’d hoped, mostly due to getting very little sleep. I finally went to bed around 5 a.m., only to be woken up again by pain around 8 a.m. I couldn’t fall back asleep, so I got up and took the pups out to potty. My husband woke up around 10 a.m. and told me that we could head out whenever I was ready.
We had planned to go to a BBQ place he’s been craving for a while (even though we’re planning to go to the Scarborough Rib Fest next month, not that I expect there’ll be much I can eat. Prices have probably gone up since last year, and even though we’ve been putting money aside, I doubt much will be affordable for me).
We left the apartment around 10:45 and arrived about an hour later. He ran in to pick up the brisket sandwich he was craving, and then we headed over to the Coffee Bean to get SodaStream refills. I use those instead of regular pop, since what I really crave isn’t the caffeine or sugar, but the fizziness, it helps me swallow food and keeps my throat clear. The cost had gone up (we expected that), so we used some of our saved-up points, normally for Christmas, but sometimes you just have to do what needs to be done.
Next stop: Loblaws. My husband wanted to see if they had the gluten-free cornbread he’s been craving, but they didn’t, and apparently, they don’t plan on restocking it. So I guess we’ll be trying to make our own soon. Then we headed to No Frills and, miracle of miracles, actually found a blue badge parking spot in the shade. That almost never happens!
I had to unload my chair before backing into the spot since driving in forward wasn’t practical. He got the chair out, I backed in, and he pulled the chair alongside the driver’s seat. I got out, unloaded Storm, and he got LB. Then we headed in.
The ramp to the shopping level was partially blocked by a mural-in-progress, which meant he had to help push me up, I couldn’t do it alone without scraping my knuckles, which annoyed me. Thankfully, Storm instinctively knows to hang back and stay behind my chair when space is tight. She just does it, no training needed. LB hasn’t quite figured that out yet.
Inside the store, I was instantly reminded of how annoying those “barriers” are at the front, the ones that hit you right in the face if you’re in a chair. There’s no button to open them and they’re heavy, so I have to push with one hand while keeping it out of my face. Not exactly accessible.
We did a light shop, though in truth, we probably needed a full shop, I just wasn’t up to it. I forgot a couple of things, like coffee creamer and grapes, but it happens. What really stood out, though, was actually using the accessibility checkout lane. For the first time ever, I got to use a checkout where I could see and reach the payment terminal! It tilted toward me, it felt so good to be considered.
The cashier was nice. She mentioned the lane was supposed to be for people with disabilities, but lots of others use it, and even cut ahead of visibly disabled customers, which frustrates the staff. I reminded her that not all disabilities are visible, and she agreed. We also chatted about how it would be nice to have a dual-belt checkout, one standard, one lower for those of us in chairs. She said she’d pass that on to management, but I’m not holding my breath. I’ve only seen that in a few places overseas.
Back at the van, someone without a blue badge pulled into the disabled spot behind us. I had to pull forward into traffic so my husband could load my chair. Then the people in the other car had the nerve to ask if they needed to move, after we’d already had to maneuver around them. My husband was furious, no badge on display, no understanding of how that kind of behavior affects others.
We skipped Canadian Tire because we were both tired and overheated. Once home, we unloaded the groceries, and I crashed for a 2.5-hour nap. I woke up just 15 minutes before the backup PSW was due to arrive (at 6 p.m.).
I got lucky, the PSW was someone I hadn’t seen in years, from a different company I used to get services from. Now she works for this one. It was great to see her again. She helped me feel clean without totally draining my energy. After she left, I ended up sleeping again until almost 9 p.m.
When I woke, I made myself a Vega Mocha Shake:
- 1 scoop Vega Mocha
- 1 tbsp PB2
- 1 tbsp table sugar
- 1 tbsp instant coffee
- 14 oz oat/almond milk
- 150g frozen white peaches
- 50g frozen strawberries
- 5g creatine
It tasted good and was filling. I didn’t have the energy for solid food or even to prep a basic salad. My husband and I talked again about trying Factor or something similar for days when cooking is too much, but I’m still unsure. Commercial stuff doesn’t always feel like the best option.
Later on, I did eat a beef rib from his BBQ meal. The owner said the meats are GF, just salt and pepper, but my body always reacts. I suspect it’s the charcoal or the smoke, not the seasoning, since I used to have similar issues when we used a charcoal BBQ at home. (And no, I didn’t even finish the rib, I left about 25% of it.)
So, for the entire day, I had:
- ~112g beef rib (approx. 3/4 of 1/3 lb rib)
- 1 Vega Mocha shake
- 34 oz ice water
- 12 oz coffee
- 8 oz maple water
Nutrition + Fluids Summary:
- ~112g beef rib (approx. 3/4 of 1/3 lb rib): ~330 kcal
- 1 Vega Mocha shake: ~450 kcal
- 1 Clif Builders Chocolate protein bar (68g): ~280 kcal, 9g fat, 31g carbs (3g fiber, 17g sugar), 20g protein, 210mg sodium
- 34 oz ice water
- 12 oz coffee
- 8 oz maple water
Updated Estimated Calories Consumed: ~1,060 kcal
Total Fluid Intake: ~68 oz (2.0 liters)
- Wheelchair pushes: 1,963 (per Gremin app)
- Estimated steps (converted): ~2,650
- Estimated calories burned (mixed terrain): ~290 kcal
Daily Summary:
- Sleep: ~3 hours overnight + 2.5 hr nap + ~2.5 hr evening rest
- Mood: Tired, frustrated, mildly content
- Pain Level: High in the morning, moderate post-nap
- Energy Level: Low throughout; slight improvement after PSW visit
Safe & Stock-Worthy Finds:
Clif Builders Chocolate Protein Bar, Gluten-free, dairy-free, well-tolerated. Found at The Cookie Outlet (next to Coffee Bean, O’Connor). On Clearance.
? If spotted again, buy multiples if possible!